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Sir Ian Botham quotes - Quotes from and about the English legend

Rodney Marsh - "So how's your wife, and my kids?"

Ian Botham - "The wife's fine. The kids are retarded"

"Aussies are big and empty, just like their country."

"All you Aussies are a bunch of hicks who don't know the first thing about cricket."

"If you're playing against the Australians you dont walk."

"[Ian] Chappell was a coward. He needed a crowd around him before he would say anything. He was sour like milk that had been sitting in the sun for a week."

"I listen to all these republicans, and if it was down to me I'd hang 'em! I honestly would. It's a traitor's game for me."

"England need to pick players who do not have skeletons in their coffins."

Ian Botham's favourite joke....

How do you make an Australian omelette?

First, steal 3 eggs...

"I don't ask my wife to face Michael Holding, so there's no reason why I should be changing nappies"

"Despite advertising the cereal on TV-I wouldn't eat Shredded Wheat. I don't like sawdust with milk all over it."

On the Mike Gatting barmaid scandal - "It couldn't have been Gatt. Anything he takes up to his room after nine o'clock, he eats"

"I've had about ten operations. I'm a bit like a battered old Escort. You might find one panel left that's original."

"This can only help England's cause" - on hearing that Geoffrey Boycott is to coach the Pakistan batsmen before their 2001 tour of England

"Pakistan is the sort of place every man should send his mother-in-law, for a month, with all expenses paid."

"I don't think I've actually drunk a beer for 15 years, except a few Guinnesses in Dublin, where it's the law."

"Jacques Rudolph at the moment is using the inside edge as much as the middle of the bat."

"Bloody medieval most of them" [on the English cricket administration, 1995]

"If I had my way I would take him to Traitor's Gate and personally hang, draw and quarter him" [on Ray Illingworth]

"A Test match without Ian Botham is like a horror film without Boris Karloff" - Fred Trueman.

"Bonny Botham, my oh me Hit the ball at ten to three Didn 't come down 'til after tea" - Jeff Cloves

"Botham? I could have bowled him out with a cabbage, with the outside leaves still on" - Cec Pepper

"Ian Botham plays a net as if he is on Weston-super-Mare beach and the tide is coming in fast" - Frank Keating

An anonymous wag summing up of Beefy's pantomime performance one year - "The only thing more wooden on the stage was the tree."

"We have a gaping hole in the England side because Ian Botham has gone. People say Chris Lewis will take his place and I always say, 'What, on the bus to the ground?'" - Fred Trueman.
 

 

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